‘The Vic Of It’ – Waiting for Mitch Moses

Hey there, my name is Victoria and I have a favour to ask of you all.

I’m a Parramatta fan so already I hope you can extend me some great sympathy. While I’ve only been a fan for the past 12 years (not my fault, I was born in America), I like to think I’ve well and truly ridden the rollercoaster that is supporting the blue and gold.

I mean hello, I survived 2016 after all didn’t I?

While there have been some highs, the lows have been pretty low. Of course the most recent only being 4 months ago. The wound is still fresh, don’t talk to me about it.

So with this, I think Parramatta fans deserve a fresh high. Yes, Dylan Brown re-signed and just recently Will Penisini did too but come on, surely we deserve a Mitch Moses signature now?

It’s been a hell of a long off season without one. I’ve very much made my entire online persona a walking talking petition for Mitch Moses to sign on for the rest of his life but even that has been at my own demise.

day 1 of tweeting “Happy Mitch Moses Day” every day until he re-signs with Parra

— V (@TicsVitsJacThic) January 16, 2023

I started a thread on Twitter, as a joke. I typed out “day 1 of tweeting “Happy Mitch Moses Day” every day until he re-signs with Parra”.

It’s been 16 days.

I’ve forced myself into a drought of my own despair. I can’t keep doing this. People have started taking bets on how long I’ll have to do this for. I’m starting to think that Mitch himself saw this and decided to string along a decision until I reached triple digits and drowned in my own sweat and tears. I’ve been losing sleep.

I’m not even joking. This morning I awoke from a dream with a wet pillow because I dreamt that all my co-workers kept asking me whether he would re-sign and the mere thought of him not brought me to tears and to my knees. Perhaps this is concerning that I’ve literally started dreaming about these contract negotiations but I’ll leave that for a therapist to work out another day.

Instead today, I turn to you for help.

I can’t keep living like this but I also can’t just straight up ask Mitch to re-sign purely for me cause the only thing he’d be signing is a restraining order. So please, stop asking me whether Mitch is going to re-sign. I don’t know. No one really knows. If I hear one more person say that their source said xyz I may rip my own ears off.

At this stage we’ve heard rumours from the dog down the street who Mitch strolled past on a morning walk 4 months ago claiming pen met paper at the Bulldogs yesterday and it’ll be announced next week.

I need silence. Maybe silence will lure him out of hiding and bring him to make a decision. Maybe he’s just a timid little deer in the woods waiting for the chaos to calm down. Regardless, at least the silence will calm me down.

So please, stop with the “sources” and the “scoops” and stop asking me what’s going to happen. And if you’ve got Parra supporting friends, do the same for them too because I bet they’re feeling the same way as me. They may just be hiding it better than me.

And Mitch, if you happen to read this…hey.

You can find Victoria on twitter at @TicsVitsJacThic